What to Do If You've Been Romance Scammed

If you've been romance scammed, the first thing to know is that it is not your fault. Romance scams are run by professionals who study human psychology for a living; millions of smart, careful people are taken in every year. What you do in the first 48 hours matters most. This guide walks through the steps that limit the damage, preserve evidence, and get the right authorities involved.

1. Stop all contact and money immediately

• Stop replying to the scammer. Do not send any more money, gift cards, or crypto — no matter what they threaten or promise.
• Do not send any more personal documents (ID, passport, utility bills) — these are used to open accounts in your name.
• Do not confront or warn the scammer. It feels satisfying, but it tips them off to destroy evidence and pivot to a new victim.
• If you've shared banking access, change your passwords and revoke any shared access right now.

2. Protect your money and identity

• Call your bank or credit card company's fraud line immediately. Report the transactions as fraud and ask to dispute them.
• If you sent a wire transfer or Zelle, ask the provider about a recall — it's rarely successful but worth trying within 24 hours.
• If you sent crypto, report the wallet address to the exchange and to the FBI's IC3 — recovery is rare, but the address gets flagged.
• Place a fraud alert with one of the three credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) — it's free and alerts the other two.
• Freeze your credit if you shared your SSN or enough identity details to open accounts.
• Change passwords on your email, banking, and any account the scammer knew about — start with email, since it's the reset hub.
• Enable two-factor authentication on everything important.

3. Preserve the evidence

Before you delete anything, screenshot and save it. Scammers delete their sides of conversations and disappear; your records are the only evidence.

• Screenshot every conversation, including the scammer's phone number, email, and any names they used.
• Save all payment receipts, wire confirmations, crypto wallet addresses, and any account numbers they gave you.
• Save their profile photos and any images they sent — these may match known scam galleries.
• Note any addresses, "company" names, or "agents" they referenced.
• Write down a timeline: when you met, what they claimed, when money was requested and sent.

4. Report to the right authorities

• FBI IC3 (ic3.gov). The primary U.S. report for internet crime, including romance scams.
• FTC (reportfraud.ftc.gov). The consumer-fraud report that feeds law enforcement.
• Your local police. File a report for the record; get a case number for your bank and insurance.
• The dating platform. Report the profile so it's removed and other users are protected.
• USAGov identity theft (identitytheft.gov). If your identity was used, this walks you through a recovery plan.
• Postal inspectors (uspis.gov). If mail or a package scam was involved.

5. Watch for the "recovery" scam

Once you've been scammed, your name often lands on a list shared among fraud networks. Expect contact from people claiming they can recover your money — for a fee. These are almost always secondary scams targeting prior victims. Real law enforcement and real recovery services do not charge upfront fees. Anyone who asks for money to get your money back is a scammer.

6. Tell someone

Shame is the scammer's best cover. Romance scams work partly because victims hide them. Tell a trusted friend or family member — not for legal reasons, but because isolation makes you vulnerable to the next fraud and to the recovery scammers who follow. If you need structured support, the FTC and AARP's fraud-watch resources offer victim guidance.

7. Protect yourself going forward

• Never send money to someone you haven't met in person — no exceptions.
• Treat any new online match with extra caution for a while; victim lists circulate.
• Run a verification report on any new match before feelings or money get involved.
• Keep your financial life separate from dating — no joint accounts, no co-signing, no shared cards with someone you only know online.

You are not alone

Romance-scam losses in the U.S. exceed a billion dollars a year and affect every age and education level. Reporting helps law enforcement map the networks and protect the next person. See our guide on how to report a dating scammer for the full reporting checklist.